Delayed Gratification

5 years ago, I woke up for the last time as Miss Hogan. As I opened my not-a-morning-person eyes, the first thing I remember was seeing my sweet grandmother sitting beside me with a beaming smile. As I started to sit up, she whispered to me “you’re getting married today, my dear!”…It was so fitting that she was there that morning, since she was the one who would constantly remind me that my time would come…I just needed to wait.

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As any good Hogan woman, I jumped up into action. It was just after 6am and I had a whole laundry list of to-dos to get done before I got to say I do. But that was nothing new, I felt like I’d been waiting for this day forever…probably because I had. After all, it had been 5 years since my youngest brother had gotten married, but as he once predicted, when I finally did find someone, there wouldn’t be any doubt he was the one.

I wasn’t the little girl who dreamed about some big elaborate fairytale wedding. I had no interest in a poufy dress that trailed behind me half a mile. I didn’t need to come riding in on a rainbow unicorn pony. I wasn’t dead set on packing out my childhood church sanctuary with hundreds of people, and dancing into all hours of the night. I was simply just over the moon that after all the waiting, I was finally about to marry my best friend.

It wasn’t so much that I had known since 2010 that I was going to marry him, or that I had been commuting 90 miles between OC and Palm Springs since 2013, or even that by 2014, everyone around us was give him major grief about when he was going to put a ring on my finger. I knew it would happen. He knew it would happen. That’s all that mattered to us.

The waiting started long before I ever knew where I’d wind up…it started when I went through high school and found myself babysitting instead of going out on Friday nights. It continued into college when I threw myself into my studies and muscled my way through business school in 3 years (while basically working full time). It became a theme post-college when I had the most amazing friends, but never seemed to find anyone who I imagined could be more than a friend. When my three brothers and I all smashed into my 2-door Honda Civic on the way to my baby brother’s wedding, I recall my older brother declaring “3 down, now we just have to get Kim hitched” & I rolled my eyes, thinking “good luck with that”…

But as the saying goes, good things come to those who wait. Or in my case, good people. Even if I was the last person to realize it, the day I met Brian, is the day I finally met my match.

5 years after we promised forever, I don’t think we ever would have pictured being where we are today (once again, waiting). We should be walking the streets of Paris together, or exploring Bora Bora and staying in one of those over-water bungalows…or at least lounging on a beach in Hawaii reliving our honeymoon trip. But one thing the last 10 years with you have taught me…if you’re there, it’s always worth the wait!

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Brian – You’re the answer to my prayers. You’re my reward for not settling. You re-taught me how to believe in myself. You re-ignited my confidence that I had let others extinguish. You massively upped my shoe game! I had no idea how great life could be before I had you to share it with me. You’re my proudest accomplishment. You’re my perfect dessert sharer: 3/4 for you, 1/4 for me (except for carrot cake – you better cut that straight down the middle)!

Happy 5th Anniversary, Babe! I would wait forever all over again for you! #PSILoveYou

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Perfectly Imperfect

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If I remember correctly, my eyes popped open just before 6am…it took me a minute to figure out why I was on a hotel chair (long story), where I had caught a few winks after wrapping up last minute details the night before. Grandma was already up – still on Michigan time, and nursing a sore leg. She was worried she had woken me up, but I assured her, I was up on my own. I love looking back and remembering that special moment we shared as she reminded me “You’re getting married today, my dear” …

I threw on my workout gear & raced over to the gym – wanted to get a good sweat in for the big day (really, for the big carrot cake). I was pretty much running on adrenaline, but the pre-workout was the cherry on top. One problem: the gym didn’t open until 7am on Sunday. Back to the hotel I went, into the closet-sized gym, where I got in my 30 minutes of HIIT in the dark/ non-air-conditioned room.

And all was well with the world.

Needless to say, the day wasn’t perfect – the whole weekend was actually filled with little (and big) hiccups. From my almost-step son’s transmission going out on Interstate 10 on his way to Palm Springs, to being so late to dinner the night before that the restaurant almost cancelled our reservation, to my not getting any coffee the morning of, to our “first look” being a rushed encounter in Brian’s office while he frantically ironed his shirt, to forgetting part of my wedding vows (which we actually wrote over text message that weekend)…but when I look back on it – I wouldn’t change a single thing.

Instead of spending our wedding day at our favorite hotel & eating a romantic dinner at Mister Parker’s, we found ourselves heading home. With our son stranded with no car, our evening ended up being take-out from Sherman’s Deli (our local favorite) and watching Entourage the movie as a family, before we headed back to The Parker that night. I couldn’t think of a more appropriate way to spend my first day as a wife and step-mom, and I’ll treasure it forever.

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The reality of it was August 30, 2015 was US – perfectly imperfect, just the way I love it.

This year has been more of the same. We’ve had highs, lows, celebrations, tears, victories, defeats, but we’ve done it hand-in-hand, and have approached each & every day of this year with the same attitude we did this day last year – nothing is going to keep it from being perfectly imperfect.

Today marks a year since I earned my MRS degree. But all that really means is that we’ve made it around the track. As we head out on lap 2, just like so many of the Olympians did these past few weeks, there will be no letting up. Instead, I know we can better our next year – the best is yet to come.

While today was just another day, there were little reminders of a year ago – a morning workout, no coffee for me, flowers, stress, take out, and yes, carrot cake. Because in the end, my very favorite is perfectly imperfect.

Thank you, Brian, for loving perfectly imperfect me…

#PSILoveYou

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