Delayed Gratification

5 years ago, I woke up for the last time as Miss Hogan. As I opened my not-a-morning-person eyes, the first thing I remember was seeing my sweet grandmother sitting beside me with a beaming smile. As I started to sit up, she whispered to me “you’re getting married today, my dear!”…It was so fitting that she was there that morning, since she was the one who would constantly remind me that my time would come…I just needed to wait.

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As any good Hogan woman, I jumped up into action. It was just after 6am and I had a whole laundry list of to-dos to get done before I got to say I do. But that was nothing new, I felt like I’d been waiting for this day forever…probably because I had. After all, it had been 5 years since my youngest brother had gotten married, but as he once predicted, when I finally did find someone, there wouldn’t be any doubt he was the one.

I wasn’t the little girl who dreamed about some big elaborate fairytale wedding. I had no interest in a poufy dress that trailed behind me half a mile. I didn’t need to come riding in on a rainbow unicorn pony. I wasn’t dead set on packing out my childhood church sanctuary with hundreds of people, and dancing into all hours of the night. I was simply just over the moon that after all the waiting, I was finally about to marry my best friend.

It wasn’t so much that I had known since 2010 that I was going to marry him, or that I had been commuting 90 miles between OC and Palm Springs since 2013, or even that by 2014, everyone around us was give him major grief about when he was going to put a ring on my finger. I knew it would happen. He knew it would happen. That’s all that mattered to us.

The waiting started long before I ever knew where I’d wind up…it started when I went through high school and found myself babysitting instead of going out on Friday nights. It continued into college when I threw myself into my studies and muscled my way through business school in 3 years (while basically working full time). It became a theme post-college when I had the most amazing friends, but never seemed to find anyone who I imagined could be more than a friend. When my three brothers and I all smashed into my 2-door Honda Civic on the way to my baby brother’s wedding, I recall my older brother declaring “3 down, now we just have to get Kim hitched” & I rolled my eyes, thinking “good luck with that”…

But as the saying goes, good things come to those who wait. Or in my case, good people. Even if I was the last person to realize it, the day I met Brian, is the day I finally met my match.

5 years after we promised forever, I don’t think we ever would have pictured being where we are today (once again, waiting). We should be walking the streets of Paris together, or exploring Bora Bora and staying in one of those over-water bungalows…or at least lounging on a beach in Hawaii reliving our honeymoon trip. But one thing the last 10 years with you have taught me…if you’re there, it’s always worth the wait!

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Brian – You’re the answer to my prayers. You’re my reward for not settling. You re-taught me how to believe in myself. You re-ignited my confidence that I had let others extinguish. You massively upped my shoe game! I had no idea how great life could be before I had you to share it with me. You’re my proudest accomplishment. You’re my perfect dessert sharer: 3/4 for you, 1/4 for me (except for carrot cake – you better cut that straight down the middle)!

Happy 5th Anniversary, Babe! I would wait forever all over again for you! #PSILoveYou

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